Trying things so you don’t have to

Good afternoon bloggees,

Something that you definitely don’t know about me (because you don’t know me) is that I am truly delighted by trying novel beauty-related things. If I could choose a dream job it would be to get paid to try things that might make me prettier then play with puppies and take naps and watch TV. Alas, during this time of isolation I’ve taken it upon myself to try at-home beauty products so you don’t have to (or so you know what to buy on your government-sanctioned shopping trips).

At the beginning of the quarantine, I ordered approximately $70 worth of masks– nothing that would protect me from any virus, but rather the types that promise soft feet, hydrated undereyes, a firmer face, healthy hair, and a “balanced and purified” butt (respectively, of course– though if there is one product that does all of that, please let me know. And don’t say drinking water does that, I don’t want to hear it).

Here’s my first review, for a foot peel that I hoped would have me leaving trails of dead skin in my wake.

Doc Sam’s Exfoliating Foot Peel
$25 for two pairs
Forget Flintstone feet, cracked skin and leathery heels. Doc Sam’s Foot Peel gently removes unwanted callouses and dead skin, layer by layer. It even helps remove the bacteria and fungi that are hitching a ride. Two weeks after application, those rough, tough paws will be baby-bottom smooth. Formulated with cedar and frankincense essential oils for a warm, earthy scent.

I’ve always wanted to do one of those gross foot peels that leaves you shedding skin for weeks, so what better chance than now! I swear I found these in a listicle but I can’t seem to find it, so maybe these are just a random Amazon purchase.

In the box are four plastic sock-looking things and a sheet of stickers to hold them closed. You cut open the top of the sock (at the ankle), slip your feet in, and tape them closed with the included stickers. Then, you sit for 60-90 minutes as they do their magic. Maybe this would be better for during a movie or something, but I did these in the middle of the day and it was so uncomfortable to walk around the house. After I removed them, I didn’t notice any skin peeling for about 3 days, but my feet did feel very dry until then.

I had been looking forward to something that would leave me with skin socks, but the most these did was make my toes look like baby snakes molting. I did have a fair amount of skin come off, but I’m still left with heel calluses and weird patchy peeling skin on the tops of my feet 2+ weeks later. These were also strongly advertised as “nice smelling”, which makes me assume that other foot masks (such as the infamous Baby Foot one) smell bad? I honestly didn’t try to smell these, though, and took them off right after 60 min of wear (the minimum recommended time) because my feet felt cold and weird in the sock things.

Pass. Although you get twice as many treatments as Baby Foot, I didn’t notice enough difference in my feet to justify recommending it to others.

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